Chapter 7 - Trying to sound like an ass in the soundbooth.

So some days after the mental and physical work over that was the Charlie session, I was lucky enough to be picked for another session recording, this time around pretending to be an ass.

Literally.

It was a voice over for a talking donkey destined to be included in an upcoming Father's Day card.

There was no imagery this time to spike any sort of understanding of character, and the direction I had gotten via email was urging me to take sort of a Family Guy "Stewie" sort of approach, but with no oddball British accent attached.

This was the session where I found myself still filled with some trepidation, and because of that, overcompensating and unintentionally being unprepared. Mainly because I was so focused on staying calm and collected, that when the day came to record, my performance was very, very flat at first.

I have to say this now as I reflect back on that day. Thank goodness for super understanding people, and thank goodness they were all in the studio that day. I think it was apparent I was struggling, that I was having issues getting into a comfortable zone. That try as I might, I could not think of one thing that would allow voices or impersonations to flow freely. I was literally reading the script in front of me. In a dry and fairly emotionless way.

That mental rolodex I carry with me? The one that I'd been filling all these years with voices, quirky accents, and off beat impersonations? It was like it was full of blank cards.

I remember thinking, the lights felt hot in that booth, that man, I was tanking, and somehow, I convinced myself to remember that if I want to do this, you have to rise above it ALL the time.

Finally, after some coaching and very forgiving direction, Julie managed to help me get out the performance in piecemeal that they would be able to use. But when I got out of the booth, I knew I'd messed up, I know that I could have done better. She told me to practice, to keep working at it, and to slow down my phrasing, clear up my diction, and to really push myself.

That day marked a sobering moment that in many ways was worse than the prior session's aftermath had been for me. In any other studio, I would have been cut out. Completely. Regardless of how nice a guy I am, or how much range I could showcase..., without control, without attention to detail, and without a tenacity to want to improve each time, well, there is always someone else that can step in that booth instead of me.

I chalked this one up to one of those times that they'd replace my session with someone else's take.

That was many months back, and just today as I was at my local grocery store getting a few things, I walked past the Hallmark display, and looked over to see the Father's Day cards offerings were out. I then remembered at the exact moment I saw this donkey's face looking back at me from a card, that I had recorded a card for that holiday.

Pretty sure my face was looking similar to this as I held the card.

I immediately reached out for it, and then hesitated for a second, and actually walked around the display to the back, before I pushed down on the "Press Here" button on the card. To my relief, to my surprise, the sound of my own voice, my final takes, along with a bizarre lower lip mechanical movement, happened.

This, as far as I know, currently, is the first of my voice over efforts to make it out to mass market.

Do you know how surreal that is to be standing in a Hy-Vee and be wanting to scream out "THIS IS ME! I AM A TALKING DONKEY!!!!!"

It was me. It is me.

I took it and my basket of groceries to the checkout counter, and paid for it. I'm still looking at it here as I type out this update. I'm a talking Hallmark card. This is a little bit probably how the insanely funny duo behind Hoops and Yoyo must have felt like, and maybe still do to this day (except they are way funnier than I am).

The card standing, and the interior message.

So if by chance, you happen upon this card, and want to have a bit of additional conversation for that father or father like figure in your life, maybe pick this up. And say Happy Father's Day, from you, and the ass who recorded this card.

Until next time!